You Need To Tell Her What You Want
And be very clear with your intentions.
Today was the first time in my dating history that a woman asked me, “Why did you ask to see me for another date?”
Say what, now?
I didn’t know what to feel about it, but I answered the only possible answer: The Truth.
We Met Through Some Facebook Friends
A week ago, someone on Facebook suggested a potential partner for a date and gave me a number. I called the girl, and we had a sweet talk.
We have some common interests. The girl likes fantasy as I do, she’s into geeky things, she’s exciting and, well, she’s gorgeous.
We met in Jerusalem, her hometown.
I don’t know a lot of places in Jerusalem. I lived in Tel Aviv and had commuted about an hour with a bus to get to Jerusalem from home. So I let her choose where we’ll meet. She wanted a bar.
It wouldn’t have been my first choice, but I supported the idea. It’s the first time I had alcohol with a potential partner on our first date — a refreshing change.
Overall, it seems as though the evening went well. The day after I called her and asked how she felt. She was positive about our meeting, and so I felt comfortable asking to meet her a second time. She was funny and intelligent and beautiful, and I was really into her. I got a tentative yes, and we had to finish the call.
She Was Confused
Today we talked again, and she asked me why I had asked to see her a second time. She explained that in her perspective, this didn’t feel like a date but instead going out with a friend to drink beer.
And then I found myself explaining my motivations and telling her she looked beautiful in my eyes, that I was interested in getting to know her better for a romantic pursuit and that I’m pretty shy overall.
She related to it and said she hated dating and that she’s shy too. I felt that short phone-call brought us closer than that entire evening.
We decided to talk on the weekend and plan to meet next week. Hopefully, the next date is even better.
Lesson Learned For Next Time
This experience taught me that I should be crystal clear about my motivations. It can look pretty clear to me, but evidently, she didn’t realize I was there for romantic pursuit.
Don’t leave anything to the imagination. If you like your potential partner, say so, she would love to hear it. Don’t make the same mistake as me and end the night on a friendly flat tone. Let her know you mean business.
I mean business. Let’s see how things go next week for me.