You’re probably expecting something to rock your world here, but I don’t have it. Unfortunately, the story is much simpler than the one you probably already weaved inside your head before clicking on the title.
Yup. That’s the solution: I asked people to give me money just for being a nice dude, and IT FUCKING WORKED!
So, a week ago, I was SO fed up with my life. Everything was always challenging, and I constantly needed things to cheer me up.
The problem was that I couldn’t afford them.
So, one night, before going to bed, I posted a tweet:
“Can you guys send me money? I want to buy nice things.”
And then I put down the phone and went to bed.
The following day, I saw no likes or retweets to my tweet, but I did have a DM from someone asking to share how to send me money.
Of course, dummy! You can’t ask people to send you money without telling them where to send it!
It was such a rookie mistake on my part.
So, the very next evening, I tried it again and this time included a link to my PayPal. I put the phone down, hoping for the best, and went to bed.
What do you know? The following day I didn’t get any money at all, too.
This is where the strategy picks up, folks, so listen up!
This time I decided to try something different: I wrote the tweet and didn’t send it. Then I went to bed, knowing full well that I sent my message to the universe and it will take care of everything for me.
And that changed EVERYTHING.
The very next morning — in my dream — I woke up, and my PayPal held 999,998 dollars! Someone decided to be stingy and didn’t top me up to a million. But that’s okay. I don’t mind.
From there, everything rolled ahead without any further disruptions. I got a yacht, a house, A second yacht, and the best underwear money can buy.
Life is good!
And all it took was some determination and a Twitter account. No special tools!
If I can do it — so can you! Good luck!
Author’s Note: This article is a joke not to be taken seriously (obviously, if you read it), and yet, please don’t view anything I wrote here as practical advice of any kind. I hope you enjoyed reading my first voyeur into humor territory :)